Jan 21: National Hugging Day
The Power of a Hug: Embracing the healing energy of human connection.
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You can't wrap love in a box,
but you can wrap a person in a hug.
—Author Unknown
It was one of those pre-dawn flights when you creep out of the house, leaving the weight of unspoken goodbyes behind.
Outside, the slivered moon hung like a bracelet charm, promising my return.
She was early, waiting in a blue Honda Accord, a safe face in the dark.
As we traveled Boston's deserted, narrow streets, she introduced herself as Samiha, an Uber driver working while her two-year-old slept several towns away.
She told me about her immigration status, her gratefulness to be in America while her home country burned with war and hatred.
A crosswalk light blinked, a warning for phantom pedestrians still sleeping in their beds. I smiled when she tapped her brakes, a habit of good driving.
As she drove through the intersection, a horn shrieked as a car barreled around us. The driver sped past, his face twisted in fury.
My hand searched for my heart that had fallen to the floorboard.
Samiha remained calm, hands tight on the wheel, her eyes focused on the road. "Some people are always in a rush," she sighed.
"Imagine the life that man must have to be so aggressive on this quiet morning," I said, our eyes meeting in the rearview mirror.
We were silent for the rest of the trip. I closed my eyes, sent positive thoughts to the raging man who thought it was okay to fill our car with his chaos.
"May you be happy. May you be free from suffering. May you be at peace. May your heart be full of love and joy."
We arrived at the airport, the horizon ribboned in soft pinks and yellows. She retrieved my suitcase, faced me with a slight smile. I opened my arms, and she stepped into my embrace.
"May you be happy. May you be free from suffering. May you be at peace. May your heart be full of love and joy," I whispered silently as our hearts pressed together.
Do you remember your first hug after the pandemic? The moment when you finally got to wrap your arms around a loved one and feel their warmth?
That's the power of human connection—why psychotherapist Kevin Zaborney created today, January 21, as National Hugging Day.
But hugging doesn't always need to be physical. The metta loving-kindness meditation I did for the angry man is a form of hugging.
As the Buddha said, "There are physical acts of loving-kindness. There are verbal acts of loving-kindness. There are mental acts of loving-kindness. Practice these without discrimination."
A mental act of loving-kindness without discrimination means radiating universal love to all living things, including yourself, because that's who you're ultimately benefiting.
Neuroscientist and philosopher Sam Harris explains it as "rewrite[ing] the emotional software of your brain" in his book Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion.
Before practicing loving-kindness meditations, I would have cursed the man, carried his anger with me through the airport.
Now, who's suffering?
By radiating love instead of negativity, I felt calmer, more centered.
We help heal the world and ourselves when we hug physically or emotionally.
When a suicidal student brought a hidden shotgun to his Portland high school, a teacher was able to disarm him before anyone was hurt. And then the teacher did the most remarkable thing. He hugged the boy.
Elizabeth Laird, famously known as the "Hug Lady," spent twelve years hugging countless soldiers at Fort Hood. She offered her embrace before they were deployed and after their return home.
'Tis the human touch
in this world that counts,
The touch of your hand and mine,
Which means far more
to the fainting heart
Than shelter and bread and wine.
For shelter is gone
when the night is o'er,
And bread lasts only a day.
But the touch of the hand
And the sound of the voice
Sing on in the soul always.—Spencer Michael Free
When we hug, cortisol levels decrease while oxytocin levels rise, creating a human cocktail of reduced stress and increased feelings of trust and bonding.
Imagine if we embraced each other, worked together for the benefit of all. The world could be a much better place.
And it all starts with a hug.
Go here to learn and practice the metta loving-kindness meditation.
Do you have a story of giving or receiving more physical, verbal, or mental acts of loving-kindness?
Thank you for sharing this. It's wonderful to remember we have strength and tools in otherwise powerless situations❤️
The way you described your journey to the airport was beautiful and endearing. I'm also a fan of Sam Harris: the way you warded off the chaos of that rushing driver is a great example of rewriting the emotional software of your brain. Are you always that positive when something unexpected happens? I find myself still tripping up, sometimes.